The “dinner table syndrome” is a real thing. It’s a term people use, and I relate to it a lot.

For me it’s simple: being at a table with a lot of people, everyone talking about different things, and not being able to follow the conversation.

Voices overlap. They stack on top of each other. Everything happens at the same time.

And at some point, you just stop understanding what’s going on.

It’s not about attention. It’s not about being distracted.

You just can’t process all of it.

That’s when it gets frustrating.

Because you’re there, but you’re not really part of the conversation.

A lot of times what I end up doing is leaving. I just get up and go somewhere else.

From the outside, that can look rude. Like I don’t care.

But it’s not that. It’s just that I can’t keep up anymore.

There’s also something that happens before I even sit down.

When I see a table with a lot of people, I choose who to sit next to.

It has to be someone I trust: my brothers, my parents, someone I don’t have to try so hard with.

Because yeah, having a conversation now takes more effort than it used to.

It’s not obvious at first, but you feel it.

That’s why a lot of times I’d rather do something else: check my phone, watch something, just disconnect a bit.

It’s easier than trying to follow something that I already lost.

I don’t see it as something dramatic.

It’s just one of those things that changed.

And now it’s part of how I experience these situations.