There’s something curious that happens when you don’t hear well: you don’t always know how loud you’re speaking.

This used to happen to me a lot before getting my cochlear implant, when I was only using hearing aids.

In quiet places it wasn’t very noticeable. But in crowded restaurants it definitely was.

Once, when I was living in Ecuador, I went to a restaurant with my mom and my dad.

The place was packed. People talking everywhere, plates moving, music in the background, waiters walking around — everything mixed together.

At some point I wanted to order something to drink.

So I called the waiter.
—Hey!

To me it felt completely normal.

A reasonable volume. Polite, even.

But the waiter turned around as if someone had called him from the other side of the restaurant.

My mom looked at me and said:
“Don’t yell at him.”

I was confused.

I didn’t feel like I had yelled. In my head I was speaking perfectly normally.

Something similar happened to me later at a taco place.

When we finished eating I raised my hand to ask for the check.

—The check, please!

The waiter jumped a little.

Not a small flinch. An actual jump.

Again, I didn’t feel like I was yelling.

That’s one of the strange things about not hearing well: you lose a bit of reference for your own voice.

For everyone else, you’re shouting.

For you, you’re just having a perfectly calm conversation.